


Baby, What's Your Sign

by MeatbunKun



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 14:02:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 3,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14310246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeatbunKun/pseuds/MeatbunKun
Summary: reader x various!haikyuu oneshots





	1. Character Line Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> feel free to request shit

 The reader-chan's/kun's personalities are based off zodiac personality trait stereotypes (descriptions of them in their chaps just copy and pasted from websites lol)   
this is just a list of who the reader is being paired with so bun doesn't have to go in a specific order writing these and can update whichever chap whenever

* * *

 

 

~~Aquarius~ Iwaizumi Hajime (to be continued..?)~~

 

Pisces~ 

 

 Aries~

 

Taurus~

 

Gemini~ 

 

Cancer~

 

Leo~

 

Virgo~ 

 

Libra~

 

Scorpio~

 

Sagittarius~

 

Capricorn~ 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> crossed out ones are done, otherwise the chaps just have the zodiac sterotype descriptions lol
> 
> bun has general reader-chan/kun headcanon stuff for each chap if that's something anyone wants added until the chaps are finished....


	2. Aquarius

**The Aquarius star is technology-savvy, rebellious and a little bit eccentric who craves casual connections, but can sometimes be emotionally detached. They are passionate advocates for their cutting edge ideas, but can sometimes come off as aloof. However, their frankness can cut both ways. Within limits it can be a positive quality, but when it borders on the insensitive, it can really hurt people and alienate them from their friends and loved ones. Besides, as they do not open up emotionally too soon, not many people can relate to them. Being unpredictable is another negative trait that works against them. They are a straight talker and like to get to the bottom of issues, and voice their opinion. There is often no middle ground for them, they don't middle because middle would be boring, and boredom is their worst disdain.**

* * *

 

**Iwaizumi Hajime x m!reader (+ a lot of Yahaba Shigeru lol, whoops)**

 

~~~~~

 

"So.... _why_ are you doing this again??" 

 

  
"Shigeru." You throw your childhood friend the most unimpressed look your facial features can manage, which, considering your typical expression is that of a dead fish, is not at all difficult for you to pull. "I bemoan that insipid little goldfish mind of yours. Was I not clear of my intentions when I explained it to you last night?"

 

"Not at all." His retort is quick and delivered in the utmost deadpan tone as he mirrors your expression right back at you. "You called me in the middle of the night, _waking me up by the way,_ and all you bothered to tell me was that you were going to sit in on our practice so you could observe a 'person of interest'."

 

"...Yeeees...." Your brows furrow as you cock your head to regard Shigeru intensely. "If that wasn't enough clarification for you to follow, I think Auntie is going to be disappointed when report cards come out. You're kind of stupid Shigeru." Shaking your head in disbelief you walk off towards the gym, leaving the other male spluttering at your closing words.

 

"Y-You're the moron in this situation!" He's quick to catch up to you, scowling all the while, "That phone call wasn't an explanation of any sorts! I'll ask again, and if you don't want me to tell everyone you're nuts and shouldn't be allowed to stay behind and watch our practice, _you'll tell me why you are doing this."_

 

The sigh you release is hefty and all-suffering in it's inflection.

 

" _Fine._ Since your pea brain didn't get it the first time, I'll dumb it down for you. It's simple: I'm researching one of your teammates in the interest of bettering my social standing in this pathetic hierarchy our school has. I am apparently," you grimace as you force the words out as if it physically disgusts you to speak them, "unapproachable and unfit to socialize with."

 

"...'apparently unapproachable'?" Shigeru rubs his face and groans lowly, garnering a befuddled frown from you, "(F/N), you literally go out of your way to terrorize people all for the sake of 'recording their reactions to specific situations'. I don't think Tsuda-san ever got over the time you dropped a spider down his shirt."

 

"His arachnophobia is illogical and pathetic. Isn't it that one is supposed to face their fears in hopes of conquering them?" You sniff derisively and flick (h/c) strands out of your face, "I was ultimately only trying to help him get over his infantile behavior. It's hardly my fault he fainted."

 

"It is, it _really_ is."

 

"It's not my fault." You stubbornly repeat, "And besides, the point you're making is irrelevant so cease trying to make me feel guilty about it, I refuse to. I'm here to analyze your teammate to learn how to navigate interactions that lead to a positive outcome where we might avoid another Tsuda-san...situation. That's it. No need for your uncalled for paranoia."

 

He stares at you as if trying to look deep into your soul before a sly smirk spreads across his lips, "So really, what you're saying is that you want to learn how to get people to like you, do I have that right?"

 

You sniff, "If you wish to reduce it in such a simplistic way, I suppose."

 

"....little (F/n)-chan is growing up." He fakes wiping a tear as he holds open the door for you, "I thought I'd never see the day."

 

"Shut up." You flush and hurry inside, (e/c) eyes darting around to look at the gym's occupants before landing on your chosen subject.

 

"I'm sure Oikawa-san won't mind helping you, or at the very least heaving you creep around and watch him," he continues, shrugging, "its not like he isn't used to it with his hoard of obsessive fans anyways."

 

"Ha? That weirdo?" You scoff and shake your head, "Why would I watch him? No way, Shigeru. I want _him_." You point out your victim determinedly.

 

"Oh god..."

 

~~~~~

 

Impatiently, you sit at the edge of your seat waiting for practice to conclude, never once removing your eyes from the teen they were fixated on. In your hands a small notebook you were religiously filling out with every action scrutinized as you ignored the curious looks the volleyball team members send you (and heavily ignoring Shigeru's admonishing glares).

 

The second the end of what feels like the longest time of your life is called, you're on your feet and on a direct beeline towards the group.

 

Shigeru's sigh is unwarranted as it also announces your arrival and suddenly you're on the receiving end of a everyone's attention.

 

"...You're the guy who tried to blow up his partner during chemistry last year." The one you recognize as Hanamaki ventures and the turnip-headed first year who's name you couldn't be bothered to remember jolts away as if you'd bite without warning.

 

" _Allegedly._ And I did my time for that, despite no evidence of my guilt being procured." You correct blithely.

 

Shigeru snorts, "Nice try. There was a classroom full of _witnesses,_ idiot. Some of them clearly heard you complain when it didn't react the way you wanted."

 

  
You frown at the reminder, "I miscalculated the amount of spillage erupting from the beaker; too much smoke not enough explosion. Only his clothes suffered repercussions, I was hoping to learn what it would do in contact with skin..."

 

At your musings conversation dwindles to incredulous silence.

 

"You're friends with him Yahaba...?"

 

"I try to pretend he doesn't exist most of the time."

 

"Shigeru, that pretty face of yours hide a truly mean spirit," you complain half-heartedly to him. "Don't believe a word he says," You add lightheartedly, "he's seen me naked before. Multiple times, in fact. We're as close as friends could _possibly_ be."

 

A whistle from Hanamaki and Matsukawa, "Woah Yahaba, didn't know you had it in you~"

 

Oikawa perks up at the last bit, blinking big cow eyes at Iwaizumi. "Iwa-chan...!"

 

"Not happening."

 

"Don't...!" Shigeru looks as if he'd like nothing more than to disappear from existence, "Don't misunderstand senpai....We've known each other since we were in diapers, and unfortunately this one has no semblance of personal space or privacy. He changes regardless if I'm in the same room, trust me, if I witness his bare ass, it isn't voluntary." He levels an irked glower at you, "And you- you need to stop telling people that! It's embarrassing!"

 

"So shy Shigeru... It's not like it matters; physically speaking, we are the same in basic structure and parts. And it's not as if you have any reason to be embarrassed, I've seen you naked as well and I have it under good authority that you are attractive," then a thought occurs to you and you pound your fist onto your hand with revelation. "Is this one of those things where a man is self-conscious about his phallus? Because there's no need for you to feel bad Shigeru, it's a good size in terms of your height and mass and very cu-"

 

"OKAY." Slim hands hurriedly cover your mouth in interruption much to your dismay as Shigeru breaks off into awkward chuckling, echoed by some of his teammates more entertained laughter, "Let's stop right there, in fact I give you full permission to bother him with what you came here for." A pause before he adds, a little sheepishly "Sorry in advance senpai."

 

"Oh yeah!" You brighten with the distraction, much to Shigeru's palpable relief, and aim an accusing finger right in front of the aforementioned male's nose, "Iwaizumi Hajime!"

 

"Uh..?" His brows furrows as he goes slightly cross eyed looking at your phalange.

 

"Consider this your first and only notice, because starting today you're going to teach me everything you know! Through my observations this past week," ("Wait, you never said you've already been watching him for a week now! (F/n)!") "I can surmise that everyone you come in contact with holds you in high regards. and with my....admittedly poor reputation..." You falter only slightly before braving on, "I may or may not require as much help as I can get..!"

 

Oikawa gapes, pointing at Iwaizumi and then at him in quick succession, "Wait a second explodey-chan, you can't honestly think this brute has more to teach you than me!"

 

Iwaizumi seems stuck on which ~~annoyance~~ person to address first before ultimately deciding Oikawa's disagreement deserves a good elbow to the side, "The hell is that supposed to mean??"

 

"Yeah," you interject, eyeing the brunette with perplexion, "I said I wanted to, as Shigeru would say- get people to 'like' me- not garner obsessed fangirls or more enemies. You tend to rankle your opponents in volleyball," matter-of-factly you tack on, "I don't need help getting on people's bad side. No." Gleaming eyes turn back to your spikey-haired upperclassman, "Hajime is the _perfect_ specimen."

 

"What."

 

"This is the most amazing moment of my life." One of the mischievous duo wheezes as they cackle amongst themselves.

 

Shigeru starts, tugging your ear in a chastening movement as he lectures you, "Don't speak so informally with your senpai like that, and on the first meeting..!"

 

"Ow. Shigeru," you swat at him in an attempt to release yourself from his unforgiving grip, "I'm only employing the same familiarity I do with you. It's what one does in a offering of friendship is it not? In fact," you ponder, "typically a nickname is given. Oikawa refers to him as Iwa-chan..."

 

"Don't even try it (F/n)." The threatening tone holds no sway over you as you squint scrupulously at the team's ace.

 

"Too late," you sing-song rebelliously, flashing a thumbs up at Iwaizumi with victorious relish, "What Haji-kun and I now share cannot be contained by formalities and expectations."

 

"Oh my god."

 

"Believe it Shigeru." You wiggle out of your friend's grasp to flock to Iwaizumi, "Hi Haji-kun, you may call me (F/n)-chan, -kun, or any variation of my name that you'd like, I look forward to learning lots from you!"

 

"Yes 'Haji-kun'," Matsukawa perches an arm on his shoulder as he coos down at the two of you, Hanamaki mirroring him on the other side, "Teach your young Padawan your ways."

 

You beam up at them with all the innocence you can muster.

 

Iwaizumi roughly shrugs the two of them off and casts your smaller form a look that would send lesser beings running, "You're going to do this even if I refuse." It's not a question, the weariness in his eyes conveying his anticipation of your answer.

 

"Yep! And if you try to drive me off I could always look for guidance from some creepy, much-older stranger. He might kidnap me," you chirp cheerfully despite the macabre words, "And whatever happens to me in that happenstance would be on your conscious."

 

Iwaizumi is now the one with everyone's expectant gaze on him, awaiting his answer.

 

Shigeru watches the train-wreck in the making with a guilty contortion on his face, "I'm sorry for unleashing this monster on you."

 

 ~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi wasn't present for much of it at all...but it was getting kinda longer than intended
> 
> hmm, bun might add more to this....this reader-kun was fun to write and cute
> 
> though maybe in reality this is reader-kun x Yahaba with an unfortunate Iwaizumi along for the ride..?


	3. Pisces

**Pisces are sensitive and dreamy, and maybe their head are a little too stuck up in the clouds; you can spot a Pisces by their wide and dreamy eyes. They are extremely compassionate, and can sometimes soak up the emotions of others like a sponge. "Understanding" is a most appropriate keyword for this gentle, affectionate sign. Easygoing and generally accepting of others around them, Pisceans are often found in the company of a variety of different personalities. Their willingness to give of themselves emotionally lends to an aura of quiet empathy. A Pisces is comforting to be around. While not likely to be the leader, this sign's presence is strong and vibrant in any cause they put their hearts into.**

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	4. Aries

**They are continuously looking for dynamic, speed and competition, always being the first in everything - from work to social gatherings. Thanks to its ruling planet Mars and the fact it belongs to the element of Fire, Aries is one of the most active zodiac signs. It is in their nature to take action, sometimes before they think about it well.** **The Sun in such high dignity gives them excellent organizational skills, so you'll rarely meet an Aries who isn't capable of finishing several things at once, often before lunch break! Their challenges show when they get impatient, aggressive and vent anger pointing it to other people. Strong personalities born under this sign have a task to fight for their goals, embracing togetherness and teamwork through this incarnation.** **Aries rules the head and leads with the head, often literally walking head first, leaning forwards for speed and focus. Its representatives are naturally brave and rarely afraid of trial and risk. They possess youthful strength and energy, regardless of their age and quickly perform any given tasks.**

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	5. Chapter 5

**Practical and well-grounded, Taurus is the sign that harvests the fruits of labor. They feel the need to always be surrounded by love and beauty, turned to the material world, hedonism, and physical pleasures. Stable and conservative, this is one of the most reliable signs of the zodiac, ready to endure and stick to their choices until they reach the point of personal satisfaction. The ruler of Taurus is Venus, the planet of love, attraction, beauty, satisfaction, creativity and gratitude. This tender nature will make Taurus an excellent cook, gardener, lover, and artist. They are loyal and don't like sudden changes, criticism or the chase of guilt people are often prone to, being somewhat dependable on other people and emotions they seem to be unable to let go of. Still, no matter their potential emotional challenge, these individuals have the ability to bring a practical voice of reason in any chaotic and unhealthy situation.**

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	6. Gemini

**Gemini people are many sided, quick both in the mind and physically. They are brimming with energy and vitality, they are clever with words. They are intelligent and very adaptable to every situation and every person. Gemini are curious and always want to know what's going on in the world around them. They are not one to sit back and watch the world go by, they want to be involved. This can sometimes make Gemini nosy, they do not mind their own business; this is because they really enjoy communicating, more so then most other astrology signs, they are the ultimate social butterfly. They are always in the know and are the one to see for the latest juicy gossip. Lacking perseverance, Gemini easily goes off topic to explore another thought or idea. Gemini are superficial, they will form opinions on matter without diving into them and exploring them fully. This can lead them into thinking they know everything, which they usually do but their mind is too busy to be concerned with fine details. Routine and boredom are Gemini's biggest fears. Gemini would rather be naive then know the depressing truth, they do not want anything putting a damper on their freedom or positive energy.**

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	7. Cancer

**Cancers are very emotional and sensitive, and care deeply about matters of the family and their home.** **That makes it a Zodiac sign of emotions, the strong and protective ones.** **More than likely, their family will be large, too -- the more, the merrier! Cancers will certainly be merry if their home life is serene and harmonious. Traditions are upheld with great zest in a Cancer's household, since these folks prize family history and love communal activities.** **They are tenacious and strong-willed and like to get their way. If their well-documented kindness and gentleness doesn't do the trick, however, they're not above using emotional manipulation to make things happen. If that still doesn't work, they'll just go back to their shell and sulk, or find a way to get back at the source of their pain, since Crabs can be rather vindictive. That said, any self-respecting Crab would tell you that they are ultimately motivated by protecting their home and loved ones, a most noble goal.**

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	8. Leo

**People born under the sign of Leo are natural born leaders. They are dramatic, creative, self-confident, dominant and extremely difficult to resist, able to achieve anything they want to in any area of life they commit to. There is a specific strength to a Leo and their "king of the jungle" status. Leo often has many friends for they are generous and loyal. Self-confident and attractive, this is a Sun sign capable of uniting different groups of people and leading them as one towards a shared cause, and their healthy sense of humor makes collaboration with other people even easier.** **Leo belongs to the element of Fire, this makes them warmhearted, in love with life, trying to laugh and have a good time. Able to use their mind to solve even the most difficult problems, they will easily take initiative in resolving various complicated situations.**

* * *

 


	9. Virgo

**Virgos are always paying attention to the smallest details and their deep sense of humanity makes them one of the most careful signs of the zodiac. Their methodical approach to life ensures that nothing is left to chance, and although they are often tender, their heart might be closed for the outer world. This is a sign often misunderstood, not because they lack the ability to express, but because they wonâ€™t accept their feelings as valid, true, or even relevant when opposed to reason. Virgo is an Earth sign, this will lead to a strong character, but one that prefers conservative, well-organized things and a lot of practicality in their everyday life. Constantly worried that they missed a detail that will be impossible to fix, they can get stuck in details, becoming overly critical and concerned about matters that nobody else seems to care much about.**

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	10. Libra

**Libras are the diplomat of the zodiac. They are able to put themselves in other's shoes and see things through another person's point of view. They are the ones that always want to make things right and have balance and harmony in their life, their surroundings and the lives of the people close to them. They have captivating charm, elegant taste and they are easy to like due to their eager-to-please, easygoing nature. In return for a Libra's amazing ability to be a good listener, sooth and calm people, they expect admiration. They like the attention and the admiration for the people that they have brought together. Libras are very intelligent, they often hide this inside their easygoing exterior. Libras love luxury, they will spend lots of money and surround themselves with beautiful things and they seem to be constantly fussing over their appearance.**

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	11. Scorpio

**Scorpios are very deep, intense people, there is always more then meets the eye. They present a cool, detached and unemotional air to the world yet lying underneath is tremendous power, extreme strength, intense passion and a strong will and a persistent drive. Scorpios have a very penetrative mind, do not be surprised if they ask questions, they are trying to delve deeper and figure things out and survey the situation. They always want to know why, where and any other possible detail they can possibly know. Scorpio's are very weary of the games that other people try to play and they are very aware of it. Scorpios tend to dominate and control anyone that lets them, or anyone that they find weak. The person that a Scorpio respects and holds close to them is treated with amazing kindness, loyalty and generosity. On the outside, a Scorpio has great secretiveness and mystery. This magnetically draws people to them. They are known to be controlling and too ambitious but only because they need control for this makes them feel safe.**

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	12. Sagittarius

**Sagittarius seem to be guided by luck, good things happen to Sagittarius and this is usually because of their optimistic outlook and positive disposition which attracts good fortune. Despite hardships, Sagittarius is always optimistic that good things will happen tomorrow and the future carries good luck. Sagittarius have a vibrant, expansive personality that is free like a bird, Sagittarius cannot be contained. They are full of curiosity and they always look forward to the future, never dwelling on the past. Sagittarius are detached from emotions because emotions hold a person back, they do not like to talk about their feelings, they simply experience them and move on. Sagittarius can be reckless and irresponsible because they will jump at a suggestion of something new before they weigh the advantages and disadvantages.**

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	13. Capricorn

**Capricorn is a sign that represents time and responsibility, and its representatives are traditional and often very serious by nature. These individuals possess an inner state of independence that enables significant progress both in their personal and professional lives. They will learn from their mistakes and get to the top based solely on their experience and expertise. Not only do they focus on the material world, but they have the ability to use the most out of it. Unfortunately, this element also makes them stiff and sometimes too stubborn to move from one perspective or point in a relationship. They have a hard time accepting differences of other people that are too far from their character, and out of fear might try to impose their traditional values aggressively. Saturn is the ruling planet of Capricorn, and this planet represents restrictions of all kinds. Its influence makes these people practical and responsible, but also cold, distant and unforgiving, prone to the feeling of guilt and turned to the past.**

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End file.
